i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
