Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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