the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
