i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
