You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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