Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
