neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
