Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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