He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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