I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
