I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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