Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
