But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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