i don't like sucking hair
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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