I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
