is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I wish there were birth control emojis
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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