Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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