The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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