I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
