What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
