Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
