yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
