my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
