So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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