I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
