Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
