You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
