that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
