I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
