YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i permit you to call me
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
