There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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