No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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