I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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