It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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