At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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