You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
