I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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