I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
