i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize