Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
