the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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