I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize