Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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