your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
