The brown eye won't let me do that either.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
