My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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