well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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