Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
