i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
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well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
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After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.