My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love