i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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