just tell him i said nine months
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize