he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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