it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize