cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
