she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
