Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Semen is not good for contacts.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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