found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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