Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize