found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
