dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
