She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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