that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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