I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
