i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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